The Green Bastard Crapped Out!

I haven't driven the GB in over a month, and Cal asked if he could use the truck so I cleared it out, and put all my tools in GB, and took it to the gym this morning.

I never got to the gym.

It got to a tow truck.

I hate that car.

If Satan was a car, and he wanted to ruin your life, and strike you when you were most vulnerable, he would be a '96 Dodge Neon. 

I feel like for the last couple weeks there has been an ever-present battle of good things happening to me, and bad things happening. Except all of the good things are of spiritual growth, and all of the bad things are of the earth, mostly financial. It would be really nice to get out of this hole, and back into my comfort zone, but the best learning and growth always happens without distractions. I feel like I've learned a lot in the last couple months, but I still have this craving. Like a fire starving for fuel. I've always had it. I've always had this internal fire, and I've thrown a lot of things in it trying to build it up, and keep it going. The things and stuff I have thrown at this fire are sticks and twigs compared to what could be fed to it. I'm really getting into this now, I think I need a new paragraph for dramatic effect...

It starts with a match-stick. It is the parent's role to bring kindling to the flame, love on it, and eventually a log is set on fire, after that you are free to control your fire. I've brought many things to my fire, some more logs mostly. I got my TV log, my Internet log, my Nintendo log, my brand new furniture log, my laptop log. Generally a lot of expensive things that I've thought are very important. Over and over I've lied to myself thinking these logs would make my life more enjoyable, make my fire fuller, brighter. All the while keeping in contact with the one who started the fire, the all-knowing authority on fire building, God. The conversation would go like this.

"Hey, God I think that this brand new flat panel TV will keep my fire burning big and strong. What do you think?"

and God says, "Well you could do that, or you could..."

"Okay thanks God! Man am I a natural at fire-building or what?"

"Sure thing Mike, I'll be here when you have more questions."

So then what happens? Ha ha well let me tell you.

One day Mike says to God, "Hey God, I know I'm really awesome at fire building and all, but it seems like my fire is limited in size and I really want a HUGE fire."

"Well Mike, herein lies the problem, your fire is so big now that I really can't do much with it. So here's what we're going to do, we're going to let your fire burn down. We're going to let it get so small that we will be able to move it using a single log, and I'm going to put it in that there forest."

"Oh..."

I just have this great feeling that even though everything sucks right now, there is still hope, because I've entrusted my fire to the One who created fire.